Lavender: It's not like it's out of the blue. Lavender: I haven't been good with him. Every time I've tried to reach out to him, I mess up and make things worse. Lavender: And apparently he was trying to protect me and I didn't notice. Lavender: Because at some point it just seemed hopeless and I stopped paying attention. Lavender: He didn't want anyone in. He didn't want anyone to care about him. Lavender: So he's punishing me for caring about him. Lavender: He said really hurtful things about me. Lavender: And I know he was wrong, but it doesn't matter as long as he believes it. Lavender: I never should have tried to be friends with him in the first place. Lavender: But I couldn't just ignore him. Lavender: I wanted to be close. He reminds me so much of Amon. Lavender: It's my fault for seeing someone else in him. Lavender: How am I supposed to go back when I feel this way? Lavender: I don't know what to do
Re: day 172, late morning
Lavender: I haven't been good with him. Every time I've tried to reach out to him, I mess up and make things worse.
Lavender: And apparently he was trying to protect me and I didn't notice.
Lavender: Because at some point it just seemed hopeless and I stopped paying attention.
Lavender: He didn't want anyone in. He didn't want anyone to care about him.
Lavender: So he's punishing me for caring about him.
Lavender: He said really hurtful things about me.
Lavender: And I know he was wrong, but it doesn't matter as long as he believes it.
Lavender: I never should have tried to be friends with him in the first place.
Lavender: But I couldn't just ignore him.
Lavender: I wanted to be close. He reminds me so much of Amon.
Lavender: It's my fault for seeing someone else in him.
Lavender: How am I supposed to go back when I feel this way?
Lavender: I don't know what to do